Running, and the fear of current conditions

I have recently been thinking a lot about current conditions, why it matters and how we often seem to ignore it. Current condition is the data and facts that describes where we currently are at, in relation to some specific area of interest. Though, when I start asking questions about the current state, I often get accused of criticising and complaining. When I coach teams, the question of the current condition is one of the first I ask, because understanding where we are at gives us the first indication of what we need to work at to get towards where we want to be. Very surprisingly most of the times the knowledge of the current condition is very low, and contrasting between team members. Everyone seems to contain their own opinion of what things actually looks like. Now, opinions are not a good starting point for change, that is why making the current condition visual and transparent is usually the next step, getting everyone to agree on where we are at is the best way of finding a good way forward. Often we put up visual boards, getting measurements and KPIs and signal status from red to green. Still, talking about the current condition or visualising problems seems to get people in a bad mood, letting out bursts of blames or trigger explanations.

So what nerv does the current condition hit?

Well, then it struck me, as I got ready to go out running. I used to run quite a lot before I got kids seven years ago, but after that I just haven't got back to my old form. But in my head I am still as fast as I was back then, able to complete half a marathon in 1.50 blank.

So now here I was, not too eager to really know what shape I was in any more. If I found out exactly how my condition was, my idea of myself as a runner would just not be justified. So I tried telling myself that it doesn't matter how fast I am, or how long I run, I do it because it is fun (in my head thinking I was still pretty fast). I kept the spirit up during the spring this year, but as I got home to Sweden during the summer holiday my best friend took me out on a run, and her watch was out loud telling me the truth, and it was not at all what I had been telling myself! So, as painful as it was, it was the fact, this was my current condition. I could ignore it, or I could decide what to do about it.

So I bought myself a training watch and started logging the results. Now this was just the first step, I did not try to reach any goals or set up any ambiguous plans, I was just training on accepting and embracing where I was. My current condition was not those of a marathon runner, even though I had been, but that of a mother of two, with a busy schedule. A lot of wonderful and challenging things had got me exactly to this point today, and I just had to humbly accept that. Blaming my body would not help, but accepting the fact that it had carried and given birth to two kids, I must say I am grateful of its performance.

Still, embracing my current condition does not mean I don't want to be a marathon runner again. I will. And I can. I just have to start where I am, then adding the kilometres until I reach that goal. The obstacles I will face during this journey back to becoming a runner will just add to my new current condition. Sounds reasonable. But maybe that is why we fear the current condition. We have to accept, not our picture of ourselves, but the hard fact based view of ourselves, without the pardon of what we really would like to be, or have been in the past. As someone would maybe say about me, based on my current running results, that I am just a mediocre runner without talent and should find something else to dream about then marathons. I think I might still try to make excuses if you asked to see my running data.

Making the current condition transparent means that we will have to work on changing things, because we cannot ignore that we are not what we want to be, but this is not the same as criticism! And does not mean that we cannot have ambiguous goals and visions. Putting blame on your current condition is the same as ignoring all the work and effort it took to take you where you are today. We need to get to a safe place where we can look at the current conditions in a neutral way. We should not underestimate what the tiniest bit of criticism and blame, true or imagined, on the current condition will make us hide the facts and data. Maybe we need to start with embracing and accepting where we are first, before we can even start looking towards that goal we have set up for ourselves, our team or our organisation. Maybe we need to consciously build a safe environment around current conditions and make our understanding of where we are at take time, acknowledge that it is a process to embrace and accept. Without knowing our current ground we will end up in debating opinions, feeling criticised and in worst case do nothing but entertain the idea that we are still pretty good runners.

The big question is, have you embraced your current condition?